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Sadly, this is not The Onion
Feb 28, 3:02Not The Onion subreddit is for real stories that sound like The Onion articles. This is a compilation of those stories into a page that looks like The Onion.
NOAA FAQ - "Why don't we try to destroy tropical cyclones by nuking them?"
2012 Nov 5, 5:28This sounds like an Onion article but is actually a real article on NOAA’s website describing why we can’t use nukes to destroy tropical storms. This in the frequently asked questions.
Corrections: Squirrel Nut Zippers
2012 Feb 15, 5:11Awwww
“Staff writer J.O. Rolston’s Jan. 28 feature “Swing Set,” about swing revivalists Squirrel Nut Zippers, was mistakenly written in 2012. He meant to write it in 1997. The Onion regrets the error.”
I like Squirrel Nut Zippers…
Saudi Arabian King To Populace: 'Don't Even Think About It' | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
2011 Feb 23, 2:13'The king then widened his eyes, paused, and added, "No."'New Device Desirable, Old Device Undesirable | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
2010 Dec 27, 2:38"I feel a strong urge to purchase the new device. Owning the new device will please me and improve my daily life."Google Launches 'The Google' For Older Adults | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
2010 Sep 8, 4:11Unfortunately it looks like TheGoogle.com is not available...Area Man Suddenly Realizes He's The One Who's Been Killing Off World's Bee Population | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
2010 Sep 8, 2:16'Following a news update on the depopulation of honeybees across North America and much of the world, it suddenly dawned on local bank teller Keith Orlander Tuesday that he, personally, was responsible for the dramatic and theretofore unexplained disappearance of the insects. "Boy, come to think of it, I guess I have been killing millions of bees lately,"'Volunteer Your Computer for Global Privacy — Wild Bee
2010 Jan 26, 1:46Intro to TOR the onion router.Cambridge Cop Accidentally Arrests Henry Louis Gates Again During White House Meeting | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
2009 Aug 4, 7:19"Witnesses said that Sgt. Crowley, failing to recognize Gates on their flight to Logan Airport, arrested the tenured professor in midair, once again at the baggage claim, and twice during their shared cab ride back to Cambridge"Are Violent Video Games Adequately Preparing Children For The Apocalypse? | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
2009 Jul 10, 7:31"72% of kids said they know how to find items to barter at weapon shops and how to use medicine packs to heal zombie bites"Onion Store - The Sports Team From My Area Is Superior To The Sports Team From Your Area
2009 Jun 25, 12:33A shirt from the Onion store reading 'The Sports Team From My Area Is Superior To The Sports Team From Your Area'. Humor!Police Slog Through 40,000 Insipid Party Pics To Find Cause Of Dorm Fire | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
2009 May 31, 7:52"jeffgrako: HOLLA IF YOUR AT THE #FIRE"Onion Nation: A Look Inside the Offices of 'The Onion'
2008 Nov 17, 4:54"One of our unwritten rules is that, in order to work here, you had to have cleaned a grease trap at some point, and you had to have been punched in the face at least once,"Voting Machines Elect One Of Their Own As President | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
2008 Nov 5, 12:13Sure, we're laughing now but what if...How To Build Better High Fructose Corn Syrup Propaganda | The A.V. Club
2008 Sep 29, 2:33A short post on the topic of those irritating high fructose corn syrup commericals: 'Really, there's no way that you could make something called "high fructose corn syrup" sound good for you. Which is why, instead of irritating the public with defensive commercials featuring gross, brightly colored "juice," the Corn Refiners Association should just call "high fructose corn syrup" something more appealing: like "Deliciosity," or "Yummy Tummy Syrup," or "So You Think You Can Sweeten?" or "Fun Sugar"'Internet Explorer Makes Desperate Overture To Become Default Browser | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
2008 Sep 29, 2:28'"Internet Explorer is not currently your default browser. Would you like to make it your default browser?" the software program asked in an attempt to guilt Drewing into accepting its offer out of pure pity.'Suspicious Package Industry Falls On Hard Times | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
2008 Apr 15, 1:19Lol @ 'gerl skout kookies yum! Open quick!' Reminds of the Aqua Teen Light Brite in Boston.The New Cult Canon: Primer | The A.V. Club
2008 Apr 10, 3:36See, the AV Club says Primer is awesome too! But don't read this or any other review, rather take my word for it and watch the movie now without any prior knowledge.Identifying Vegetables with 20q Pocket Mind Reader
2008 Feb 26, 2:24
At the grocery store the other day Sarah and I attempted to find shallot for a recipe, but I can't
tell the difference between shallot, sweet onions, yellow onions, etc. etc. We found something that we decided was the closest we'd find in the store and I believe we picked correctly because at
checkout the cashier rang it up as shallot.
I think this could be
a practical problem that the 20q Pocket Mind Reader should be able to solve: obtain the name of an unidentified object. When we got home
I decided to test the 20q Pocket Mind Reader on shallot. Unfortunately, it told me I had an onion, but I think if these were designed for identifying unknown objects based solely on information you
can obtain by looking at it, rather than requiring knowledge of seeds, where it grows, etc. it would do better. Or I could just ask someone who works at the grocery store.
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